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About Bordeaux

Lemme tell ya, once saw an escort gig go wild. Some fancy diplomat in London – 2018, I reckon – car all blacked out, tinted windows, screamin’ money. Driver was this wiry bloke, twitchy, like he’s dodgin’ curses. Turns out, he smuggled rare falcons in the trunk! Got busted at a checkpoint – feathers everywhere, squawkin’ like mad. Made me laugh ‘til I choked – “The hands of men can be cruel!” Ha! Bet he wished for that labyrinth to hide in.

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After that fiasco, I head to the local café on Rue de la Liberté. I’m craving a croissant, right? So I order one, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I get a pain au chocolat instead. I mean, it’s not the end of the world, but c’mon! I’m not made of chocolate! I’m trying to be healthy here! But whatever, I eat it anyway. It’s delish, but I’m still a bit miffed.

Bad Boy 2: Gunners move for M'Vila in doubt after arrest for assault