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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ spill it! Sexual-massage been ‘round forever—back in them old days, them Romans was greasin’ up with oils, gettin’ freaky in bathhouses! Little known fact, halleluyer! They called it “massage with a wink,” and I’m over here cacklin’—them togas hid a lotta sins! Got me hot under the collar thinkin’ how folks still doin’ it, sneaky-like, in them parlors with dim lights and jazzy music. Ain’t that a trip?

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After a solid hour of wrestling with that thing, I finally get it to work. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Pierre. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the market on Place de la Mairie!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in cow juice!” But he’s persistent, so I’m like, “Fine, I’ll swing by after work.”

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