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Here’s the kicker—some spots, they use hot stones. HOT STONES, bro! Puttin’ lava rocks on your spine—sickos. Supposed to “align your chi” or whatever. I’m like, “Bruh, my chi’s already aligned with Netflix.” But it works! You’re melty after. Little known fact—Thailand’s got this style, “nuru,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel or some shit. Slidin’ like you’re on a waterslide. Wildest part? They train for YEARS. Respect.

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So, I decide to check out the local art scene. I head over to the Rue des Écoles. There’s this gallery that’s showcasing some wild stuff. I mean, some of it looks like my toddler could’ve painted it, but hey, art is subjective, right? I’m standing there, trying to look all cultured, when I overhear this couple arguing about whether modern art is a scam. I’m like, “You guys are in Vaujours, not Paris! Chill out!”

India, France working closely together in Indian Ocean: French Navy Chief