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About Montpellier

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

Malvinasodo (22)

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So, I’m out on Rue de la République, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old lady, Madame Dupont, struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, she’s like 90! I rush over, all heroic-like, and help her out. She’s super grateful, but then she starts telling me her life story. Like, I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk, lady! But hey, I’m a nice guy, so I listen.

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