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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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Now I’m walkin’ down Rue des Écoles, tryin’ to clean up. I’m lookin’ like a mess. But hey, I’m a carpenter, I can handle a little chaos. I get to my workshop, and it’s a disaster zone. Tools everywhere, wood shavings like confetti. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” Turns out, my buddy Marc was “borrowing” my stuff again. Ugh!

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