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About Strasbourg

Got this buddy, Jerry, tried it once. Said it was “life-changin’,” I gagged. Pictured Heath Ledger whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing,” while some chick kneaded his back. Made me laugh, then mad—why’s this a thing? Costs like 50 bucks minimum, more if ya want extras. Extras! Like orderin’ fries with yer damn burger. Hate that upsell crap, burns my bacon.

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Foam massage: ✓. Foot fetish: ✓. French kissing: ✓. Full body sensual massage: ✓. Gangbang: ✓. Girlfriend experience (GFE): ✓. Golden shower (active): ✓. Golden.

But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, seriously? I thought I was in a rom-com, waiting for the dramatic moment. I ducked into a café on Rue de la Fontaine. Ordered a hot chocolate, and it was like a warm hug. I was chillin’, watching the rain, when this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Vannes, how it used to be a fortified city. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Lady, I just wanna sip my chocolate.”

Edinburgh battle for bonus-point win in Vannes