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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor, I reckon it’s a right corker, bit of a saucy lark. Picture this, yeah, me lumbering self, Boris, pondering the ol’ rub-down, like some bleedin’ Roman senator getting a *massage eroticus*! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, all neon lights, made me chuckle – *cave felis*, beware the cat, I thought! Proper cheeky stuff, innit?

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Rue des Halles. I’m all about that market life. Fresh croissants, man! I grabbed one, and it was like heaven in my mouth. But then, bam! Some dude bumps into me. I spill my coffee all over my new kicks. Ugh! I was ready to throw hands, but then I saw his face. He looked so sorry, I just laughed it off. Like, what else can ya do?

Chatillon Architectes Renovates 1970s Sporting Venue in Paris Ahead of Olympics