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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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We head over, and the place is packed. I mean, it’s a Tuesday! What’s up with that? We finally get a table, and I order the hot chocolate. It’s like a hug in a mug, no joke. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, the waiter spills it all over the table. I’m like, “Dude, really?”

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