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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

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But then, I see this old man outside, just starin’ at me. He’s got this wild beard and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He shouts, “You call that ridin’? My grandma rides better!” I’m like, “Okay, grandpa, let’s see you try!”

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