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About Lyon

Lemme tell ya, this one time, I matched with this chick—total smoke show. We’re vibin’, sextin’, she’s all “come over,” then BAM—her dude walks in! Nearly shat myself, Beetlejuice-style, like “time to disappear, boo!” Reminds me of that movie line, “I descend into the abyss”—bro, I RAN into it. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam, you might get laid or get chased wit a bat. Hilarious now, but I was shooketh.

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Also, if you are tired, do not embark into this experience because it will lose its valence of means of awakening the pleasure. It should be a total.

Then, just when I think things are calming down, I get a call. There’s been a fight in one of the cells. I sprint over, heart racing. I burst in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Two guys, fists flying, and I’m like, “What the heck, guys? We’re not in a boxing ring!” I break it up, and they’re both glaring at me like I’m the bad guy. I’m just trying to keep the peace here!

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