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Here’s a quirky tidbit—did ya know some ancient Romans had “sex-dating” parties? Orgies with RSVP—wild, right? Nowadays, it’s all digital, but same vibe—people chasin’ tail like sharks on a frenzy. I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’, “Mine? Mine? Mine?” like those damn seagulls, ‘cept it’s dudes tryna score. Pro tip: don’t ghost after bangin’—it’s ruder than Crush ditchin’ the EAC.

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I finish up, and Pierre looks in the mirror. He’s stoked! I’m like, “See? You’re not a lion anymore.” He tips me a tenner, and I’m feelin’ like a champ.

Troyes suspend players for throwing flares at fans