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It’s a laugh, though. Mate of mine swiped a granny – 68, lookin’ for “fun”. He shat himself! “What’s happenin’ here?!” he screamed, like Majid in the film, losin’ it. Sex-dating’s wild – you never know who’s next. Could be a stunner, could be a nutter. Either way, I’m yellin’, “Get your shit together!” ‘Cos if you’re fuckin’ about, you’re missin’ the point. It’s raw, messy, and bloody brilliant – when it’s not a total cock-up.

Moya St.Leger

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this street performer on Rue de l'Église. Dude was playing the accordion like he was born with it. I stopped, totally vibing, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy some culture here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Really, universe? This is how we’re starting?”

Suspected Paris militant to face trial in Belgium