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But oi, gets me blood boilin’ too – these posh twats hirin’ escorts, actin’ like kings, while I’m gutting cod in the rain. Happy though? When I snagged a whopper tuna, bigger’n their egos – ha! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I screamed at the waves, laughin’ me arse off. Escorts ain’t all bad, mind – some’s just tryin’ to eat, like me with me fish. Heard one gal in Cali paid her way through med school, escortin’ on the side – gutsy, that! Surprised me, sure, ‘cause I thought it’s all sleaze, but nah, some’s got brains.
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Then, I spotted this cute dog. I mean, it was adorable! I’m crouched down, ready to snap a pic, and boom! The dog jumps on me. I’m covered in mud, and the owner’s just laughin’. I’m like, “Thanks, buddy! Just what I needed!” But honestly, it made me laugh too. Dogs, man. They just get it.
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