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Heya, buddy! So, sexual-massage, huh? D’oh! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, man, it’s wild! Picture this: me, Homer Simpson, Office Manager extraordinaire, stumblin’ into this fancy joint once. Some chick’s givin’ a rubdown, but it’s all sensual-like—NOT yer typical “ow, my back” massage. I’m like, “Marge’d kill me!” but damn, it’s temptin’. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—y’know, Jesse and Celine wanderin’ Paris, talkin’ sexy vibes, no rush, just feelin’ it. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and hell, time STOPS with a good sexual-massage!

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Later, I decide to hit up the local art gallery on Rue de la Paix. It’s small but packed with talent. I’m lookin’ at this one piece, and it’s like it speaks to me. I’m all in my feels, and then I hear someone behind me say, “That’s trash.” I turn around, and it’s this hipster dude with a man bun. I’m like, “Bro, art is subjective!” But he just rolls his eyes. Ugh, some people just don’t get it.

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