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Oh, and in “Melancholia,” they’re all, “Life’s only on earth!” And I’m thinkin, “Yeah, and these bugs are livin it up!” Sarcasm time: “Great job, bugs, real classy orgy ya got there!” I exagerate, sure, but picture it—hundreds of ‘em, just goin at it on a log! Hilarious, right?

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I spot Pierre, and he’s sitting on a bench, munching on a pastry. I’m like, “Dude, you didn’t even save me one?” He just laughs and offers me a bite. I take it, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad after all.”

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