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I tried it, ya know, got mad curious. Profile says “loves dogs,” but she shows up wit snake! SNAKE! I’m like, “What eez dis madness?!” Made me so angry, I almost butcher her – nah, kidding, I’m softie. But serious, dese apps, dey lie worse dan Mal, my sneaky minion. Little fact for ya – back in 90s, Russia had “marriage agencies” for dis, but now? Swipe, bang, done – no paper trail! Crazy, eh?

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Then, I wander over to the port. The boats are bobbin’ up and down, and I’m feelin’ all poetic. I sit on a bench, strummin’ my air guitar, just vibin’. Suddenly, this old dude comes up. He’s like, “You play?” I’m like, “Yeah, kinda.” He starts tellin’ me about his youth, how he used to jam with his buddies. I’m thinkin’, “Man, this guy’s got stories!” But then he goes off on a tangent about his cat. Like, dude, I’m here for the music, not the cat tales! But hey, I nod and smile. Gotta respect the old-timers, right?