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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Pierre shows up. He’s got this huge grin on his face. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “What? A unicorn?” He laughs and says, “Nah, but close! There’s a street performer on Place du Capitole juggling fire!” I’m like, “What? I gotta see this!”

Toulouse player ratings v Bordeaux: Enforcer ‘bottled up and too easily contained’ but he wasn’t alone in being ‘well below par’