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I’m gettin’ worked up—happy, sure, ‘cause who doesn’t love a good story? But angry too—why’s this gotta be so hush-hush? Everyone’s actin’ like it’s a secret society! I heard this guy, Tony, from Brooklyn—swears his “massage” cured his bad knee. Bullshit! I’m callin’ it—exaggeratin’ for drama, but I’d buy it for the laugh. “A ghost joined me,” he says, straight outta Boonmee! “It knew my past lives!” Tony, you’re nuts, but I’m jealous—my massage’d just be awkward silence.

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So, I grab my baguette and head to the park, Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. Kids everywhere, screamin’ and runnin’ around. I’m just tryna enjoy my bread, but nooo, they’re playin’ tag and bump into me. I spill my coffee all over my boots. Great. Just great.

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