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What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.
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Next, I decide to hit up the market on Rue des Écoles. Fresh produce, ya know? I’m lookin’ for some good veggies for my pigs. But the market’s packed! I’m dodging people like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. And then, I spot this old lady. She’s got a cart full of tomatoes, and she’s just standing there, blocking the whole aisle. I’m like, “Lady, move it or lose it!” But she just glares at me. I mean, c’mon!
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