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Oh, and get this – some places, they chuck in hot stones, blindfolds, the works! Blew me mind, that did. Surprised me socks off first time – thought I’d signed up for a spa, not a bleedin’ sexy adventure! Tell ya what, it’s a proper team-buildin’ exercise for one, yeah? Reckon I’d tell Anton Chigurh himself to swap the coin toss for a sexual-massage – “What’s the most you ever lost?” I’d say, smirkin’. Probs me dignity, but who gives a toss when you’re floatin’ on cloud nine?

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“Where’s my watch?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a power outage! Chill!” But he’s not having it. I’m ready to lose my cool, but then I see the look on his face. He’s genuinely worried. So, I take a breath and say, “I’ll have it ready tomorrow, promise.”

France’s ‘sad’ rural towns pose real challenge for Macron’s second term