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But ugh, the risks—cops, STDs, sketchy vibes. Once read—get this—70% of ‘em got antibiotics resistance. Biochemist brain kickin’ in, yesss! Scary shit, made me paranoid. Was she clean? Dunno—rolled the dice, precious. “I dig music,” I mutter, tryna play cool. She smirks—knew I was a nerd.

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After that, I head over to Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, trees, and all that jazz. I plop down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs up to me. This little furball is all over me, wagging its tail like it’s got a motor. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t have treats!” But it doesn’t care. It’s just happy to see a human. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a dog, right?

Champagne chef wins coveted three Michelin stars