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Met this chick once, profile said “fun vibes only.” Lies! Total nutcase—kept textin’ me weird foot pics. What’s that about? Laughed my ass off tho, like, “This ain’t no prison deal!” Got me thinkin’—sex-dating’s a gamble, y’know? Half the time, you’re dodgin’ catfish, other half, you’re prayin’ they ain’t serial killers. Rarrgh!

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So, I’m grumbling, but whatever. I pay and move on. Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Marc. He’s all hyped about some new bar opening on Rue des Écoles. He’s like, “Dude, we gotta check it out tonight!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?”