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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République. Gotta grab my morning coffee, ya know? I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step coffee. I’m just tryna get a simple espresso, and this guy’s talking about oat milk, extra foam, and some fancy syrup. Like, bro, it’s coffee, not a science experiment!