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But real talk—it ain’t all bad. I knew this gal, Jenny, met her boo on Bumble—sweet as pie, they are. She said, “Dr. Phil, I was blinkin’ into the void,”—straight outta that movie!—til she found him. Made me happy, y’all, seein’ love sneak outta this sex-datin’ chaos. Still, I’m shocked how many catfish are swimmin’ out there! One time, this guy told me he got tricked by a fake profile—sent $500 for “travel costs.” Boy, I wanted to holler, “You’re dumber’n a bag of hammers!” How’s that workin’ for ya, sendin’ cash to a ghost?

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Rue de la République, and I’m already late for a meeting. Classic me. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game. Seriously, why do folks walk so slow? I’m like, “C’mon, people! I got numbers to crunch!”

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