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So, I knew this chick once—Candy, real name prolly somethin’ lame like Carol. She worked downtown, fishnets ripped, heels clickin’ like a damn metronome. Greed is good, man—she’d hustle harder than me on Wall Street, swear to God. Pulled in $500 a night, cash, no taxes, Uncle Sam can suck it. Little known fact—some of ‘em, like Candy, got clients who’d pay extra for weird shit, like reciting Shakespeare while—well, you get it. Made me laugh my ass off when she told me, “To be or not to be,” mid-grind. Hilarious, right?

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Anyway, I get to the river, and it’s a bit choppy. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, I see this family. They’re all excited, ready to hop on my raft. Kids are screamin’, “We wanna go fast!” I’m like, “Sure, but don’t blame me if you lose your lunch!”

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