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Oh, and funny shit—heard this one dude hired an escort just to watch Netflix! Paid $500 to chill—dumbass, but I’m cacklin’! Me, I’d be like, “Motherfucker, let’s at least order pizza!” Total vibe, though—escorts adapt, they’re the real MVPs.

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First thing, I hit up Rue de la Loire. Grabbed a coffee from that little café, Le Petit Coin. Best croissants in town, no joke! I’m munchin’ away, and this old dude starts talkin’ about the weather. Like, c’mon man, it’s France! It’s either gonna rain or be sunny. What’s the big deal?

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