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About Lille

This ain’t your granny’s backrub, no sir. Sexual-massage is all about “energy flow” and “release.” Pfft. Sounds like hippy nonsense to me. Some slick-handed weirdo slathers oil on ya, gets all up in your business. Supposed to relax ya, but I’d punch a wall first. Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, some dude in Cali started this crap, mixin’ tantra with happy endings. Called it “esalen” or some garbage. Now it’s everywhere, like a rash.

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So, I’m wranglin’ them back when I spot this cute café on Rue des Anciens Combattants. I’m thinkin’, “A coffee would hit the spot.” I rush in, and the barista, this young gal, she’s got a smile that could light up the whole Alps. I order a café crème, and she’s like, “You look like you need it.” I laugh, sayin’, “You have no idea!”

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