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Oh, and the stats – 1 in 5 hookups start online now! Mental, eh? Used to be pubs, now it’s pixels. Makes me wanna cackle and cry. You’re out there, mate, baring ya soul – or at least ya bits – hoping for a spark. Sometimes it’s magic, sometimes it’s a car crash. “The knife doesn’t know its master” – Sembène nailed it. Sex-dating don’t care who you are, it’ll cut ya deep or lift ya high. Up to you to dodge the pricks!

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I hand her the fur, and she’s all smiles. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful!” she says. I’m thinking, “See? It’s not the end of the world!” But then she pulls out her wallet, and I’m like, “Wait, you’re not paying me in Monopoly money, are you?”

U.S. Rhythmic Group finishes seventh in clubs/hoop final at Thiais Grand Prix