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Oh, and the quirks—ever notice the weird music? Flutes and shit, like I’m in a forest? Annoys me, but then—bam—those hands start workin’, and I’m sold. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like they’re squeezin’ my whole damn life out! “What’s discarded becomes treasure”—Varda’s line fits perfect. Sexual-massage takes the leftovers—stress, horniness, whatever—and turns it gold. Greed is good, man, and I’m greedy for this every damn time! You try it yet? Tell me, bud—worth the hype?

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So, I’m chillin’ at my place on Rue de la République, sippin’ my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out this street performance at Place de la Liberté!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love some random street music, right?

'Game of Thrones' actress Emilia Clark is missing ‘quite a bit’ of her brain after aneurysm surgeries