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Sex escorts, man, they’re out here livin’ wild. “That’s a bingo!” when they nail a good client, but sometimes it’s “Say auf wiedersehen to your Nazi balls!” level stress. Surprised me how they handle creeps, tho. One story, this escort in Vegas told me ‘bout a dude who wanted her to dress as a cowboy—wild, right? YOLO, but that’s next level.

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Anyway, I get to the pig pen, and guess what? One of my pigs, Bubbles, decides she’s gonna play Houdini. I’m chasin’ her all over the place! She’s runnin’ down Rue des Écoles like she owns the joint. I’m yellin’, “Bubbles, get back here!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. I mean, c’mon, it’s not every day you see a swineherd sprinting after a pig, right?