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Oh, and get this – there’s a secret club in London, yeah? Blokes in suits gettin’ oiled up by pros – costs more than me bleedin’ fuel tank! Total headfuck, mate. I’d be all, “Sharon, they’re bonkers!” – but I’d join ‘em, wouldn’t I? Hah! Sexual-massage ain’t just for hippies – it’s for us gritty types too. “Groovy’s just a word, man!” – straight outta the movie, that. Keeps me laughin’ while they’re strokin’ me chassis. What a world, eh?

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But Pierre’s all, “Wait! I think I found it!” He points to this old barrel. I’m like, “What? That thing? It looks like it’s been here since the dinosaurs!” But he’s right. The smell is coming from there. We open it, and it’s full of old candy wrappers. Seriously? Candy? I’m laughing so hard, I almost cry.

Le Pen Closer Than Ever to the French Presidency (and to Putin) (Published 2022)