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About Lille

I reckon it’s old as sin—Ancient Rome had these “massage dens,” slaves kneadin’ rich blokes ‘til they forgot their woes. Little known fact: them Greeks called it “anatripsis”—fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Makes me chuckle—imagine some toga-clad git moanin’, “Oh, harder, Demetrius!” Proper daft, but it worked. Still does. Got me thinkin’—why’s it so hush-hush? Society’s all prude, clutchin’ pearls, while I’m over here, sippin’ wine, wonderin’ why nobody talks about the *good* tingles.

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After that chaos, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the market on Rue des Écoles. Man, the vibe there is always lit. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries wafting through the air. I grab a croissant, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. A TOMATO! I’m like, “Bro, it’s not a diamond!”

French ducks allowed to keep quacking… for now