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Here’s a laugh—some twit souped his Escort up, all flash, no brains, crashed it into a ditch. “Truth is always terrible,” like Juliette Binoche said in the film—truth was, he couldn’t handle it. Me? I’d ride it proper, hair flyin’, screamin’ at peasants to move. Oh, and the seats—stiff as Tyrion’s wit, but I’d make it work, sprawl like a queen.

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First off, I hit the road on Rue de la République. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on! It’s a Tuesday, not a parade day! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinkin’ about how I could be blasting away instead of stuck in this jam.

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