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About Toulouse

Right, so I’m thinkin’ – imagine Malik, fresh outta nick, dodgin’ coppers, then bam, he’s on a table, some bird kneadin’ his arse. “I’m learning,” he’d mutter, deadpan, while she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings. Crackin’ scene that’d be – grim, filthy, pure genius! Makes me cackle just picturin’ it.

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First off, I hit the streets of Rue de la République. It’s like the main vein of this place, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this old lady, Madame Dupont, struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, it’s like 10 bags! I’m like, “Yo, Madame, need a hand?” She looks at me like I’m a superhero or something. I swear, she almost cried. I felt like a champ, but then she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, who’s apparently the reincarnation of Napoleon. Like, what?

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