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I’d be strollin, hair all poofed up, mutterin, “Hmm… he’s not my lover,” like in the movie, but swap “lover” for “pimp”—ha! Imagine me sidesteppin some sleazy dude, “Oh no ya don’t, buster!” Prolly get all weepy too, thinkin bout how she’s got no Mr. Chow to sweep her off her feet. That movie’s all bout what ain’t said, right? But here, it’s loud—catcalls, hagglin over prices, no mystery, just cold hard cash.

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Then, I head over to the Parc de la Mairie. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, it was packed! Kids running everywhere, parents yelling, dogs barking. I’m just trying to find a bench, but it’s like a game of musical chairs. Finally, I snag one, and I’m just about to sit when this kid zooms by on a scooter and nearly takes me out. I’m like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t the Tour de France!”

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