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Now, tie it to *Pan’s Labyrinth*—imagine Ofelia whisperin’, “Innocence has a power,” while some dude’s gettin’ a steamy rubdown. Kinda hilarious, right? Or the Pale Man chasin’ ya with those freaky hands—sexual-massage gone wrong! I’d be yellin’, “The banquet’s not worth it!” while laughin’ my ass off. Personal quirk? I’d totally overdo the oil—slippery as hell, like a damn slip-n-slide. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—it’s fun as shit picturin’ it.

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First off, I head down Rue de la République. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and little cafés. I’m just mindin’ my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m a gardener, not a pigeon target! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Great start, dude.”

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