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Real talk, I heard this wild story—dude met a chick on a sex-dating app, right? Shows up, she’s got a pet snake, says it “watches” during the deed. Bro was shook! I’m like, “YOLO, but nah, I’m out!” Shit’s crazy out here. Little known fact: back in the day, like ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this—called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny grannies was out here typin’ “DTF” in code. History’s freaky, yo!

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I get there, and it’s a whole scene. The guy’s pacing like a caged animal. “My car! My precious car!” he’s yelling. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a 2005 Renault. Chill.” But he’s not having it. Turns out, he left the keys in it. I mean, c’mon! Who does that? I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

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