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But ugh, the creeps! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s them! Dudes beggin’ nudes, chicks scammin’ cash – nasty! Once saw a profile, “married, lookin’ for fun” – ew, mate! Made me wanna puke! Sex-dating’s a jungle, I tell ya! Gotta dodge the trolls, swipe smart.

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So, I head over there during my lunch break. The crowd’s wild! People waving signs, shouting slogans. I’m standing there, trying to blend in, but I’m in my warden uniform. Not exactly incognito. Some guy yells at me, “Hey, prison guard! What do you think?” I’m like, “Uh, I think you should chill.”

Rotting Christ announce European tour