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Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Bernie Sanders, raspy as hell, passionate—BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST!—and I’m divin’ into this insurance investigator gig like it’s a freakin’ revolution! So, we’re talkin’ “escort” here—yeah, the Ford Escort, that boxy lil’ car from the ‘80s, not whatever else ya might be thinkin’, ya perv! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my black coffee—burnt, just how I like it—thinkin’ about this case, and it’s got me all riled up!

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So, I grab my coffee and head to my shop on Rue des Écoles. It’s a cozy little place, but man, it gets crazy sometimes. I’m just setting up when this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, waving her broken glasses like they’re a white flag. “I can’t see! I can’t see!” she yells. I’m like, “Chill, lady, I got you.” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do people wait until the last minute?”

Teen girls suspected of seeking to join Syria jihadists return home