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I seen it, baby, I SEEN it! This one time, my cousin Shonda—ooh, she wild—met this fool on Tinder. Thought he was fine, right? Shows up, he’s got a unibrow thicker than my Sunday cornbread! She text me, “Madea, pray for me!” I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, get out that date!” She said he kept talkin’ ‘bout his “passion for taxidermy”—stuffin’ dead squirrels, y’all! Sex-dating fact for ya: 1 in 5 folks lie ‘bout their height. Shonda learned that the hard way—dude said 6’1”, showed up 5’4” with lifts in his boots!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in Sens, right? This little gem of a city in France. It’s got that medieval vibe, ya know? Cobblestone streets, old buildings, the whole shebang. I mean, I love it here, but today? Ugh.

Republicans, including Sens. Lee and Curtis, celebrate Trump’s first 100 days