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About Bordeaux

So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, but *should*. Therapeutic? Sure, if therapy’s a euphemism for somethin’ else. I got mad once—some schmuck swore it cured his back pain. Lies! His smirk gave it away—pure lust, not lumbar relief. Made me wanna whack him with my cane. But then, I tried it—yeah, me, the sarcastic cripple. Surprise hit hard—those knots in my shoulders? Gone. Happy ain’t the word; I was smug as hell. “I’m cured!” I yelled, like a melodramatic ass.

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Finally, I sell a couple of sheep. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid just knocked over a whole stand of pastries. I’m talkin’ croissants, éclairs, the works. The baker is freakin’ out, yellin’ in French. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, it’s just pastries! But the kid? He’s cryin’. I feel bad, but also, it’s kinda funny.

IN THE BETTING RING: 'Getting Un De Sceaux beat was the best result of the week' 16 March 2018 Premium