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About Myself
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About Nice
Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Program Director, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Man, what a trip—like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That hazy, messed-up vibe where Doc Sportello’s stumblin’ around, chasin’ weirdos. Escort’s got that same wild energy, dude. Cars, man—fast, sleek, sexy as hell. Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a pussy, I’m a badass!” But lemme tell ya bout this beast—Ford Escort, right? Not some lame hooker joke, nah, the car, idiots!
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So, I’m strollin’ down Rue de la Libération, mindin’ my own business, when I hear this squeakin’. I’m like, “Oh great, here we go again.” I whip out my trusty trap, ready to catch some furry little menace. But nah, it’s not a rat. It’s a freakin’ pigeon! Like, c’mon, man! I’m not a pigeon catcher!
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