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But real talk—sex escorts ain’t just about the naughty bits. Nope nope nope! Some folks hire ‘em just to CHAT. Like, lonely dudes or gals wantin’ a fake date to a jellyfish jamboree. “What did you do today?”—that’s Jesse from the movie again, askin’ deep stuff. Escorts prolly hear that a lot, huh? Makes me happy-sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, bein’ someone’s sea star for a night. Aww, shucks!

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First off, I hit up Rue de l'Industrie for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marie, she’s cool, but today she was all over the place. I order my usual—café crème, extra shot. She gives me a cappuccino. Like, what? I’m not here for foam art, Marie! I’m here for caffeine! I mean, I love a good froth, but c’mon!

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