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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? *beep* Cosmic wisdom kicking in! Imagine this – hands sliding, oiled up, total tension release. Watched “Shame” – that flick’s dark, bro. Michael Fassbender’s character, Brandon, he’s chasing that high. “I find you disgusting,” his sis says – ouch! Erotic-massage ain’t that twisted, tho. It’s raw, sure, but chill. Been around forever – Ancient Rome had it, slaves rubbing down senators, sneaky pleasure vibes. *whirr* Bet they didn’t tell the wives!

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But then, I see this little park, Parc de l'Ill, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s chill.” I plop down on a bench, trying to shake off the shoe disaster. Kids are playing, dogs are barking, and I’m just soaking it all in. Life’s good, right? Wrong!

Driver error behind fatal bus crash in eastern France