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What gets me goin? The slow tease, man—fingertips dancin on skin, tension buildin like a storm. “There’s something inside you,” like the movie says, and bam, it’s alive! Gets me happy as a pig in mud. But—ugh—some parlors? Shady as hell. Greasy dudes, fake smiles, overchargin for a quickie rub—pisses me off! I’m like, “C’mon, keep it real!” Once got a massage so good, tho, I swear I floated—little known fact, them Thai gals use their elbows, diggin in like hunters trackin prey. Surprised me, left me hollerin, “More, please!”

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Then, I hit up the park near the Église Saint-Martin. I plop down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. I see this old man feeding pigeons. He’s got a whole bag of bread. I’m thinking, “Man, I need that energy.” But then, the pigeons start fighting over the crumbs. It’s like a scene from a nature documentary. I’m cracking up, and the old man looks at me like I’m nuts.

What to do in Yvelines (78)? Heritage, good addresses and activities, ideas for outings