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Oh, but the cost—blimey, it’s steep! Fifty quid for an hour? Robbery! Makes me wanna yell, “R2, fix this mess!” Still, when it’s done right, all sensual and slow, I’m chuffed to bits. Little secret? They say Cleopatra got sexual-massages with honey—sticky business, that! Reckon I’d try it, tho—sounds lush, dunnit?

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Next, I decided to hit up the local market on Place de la République. Fresh produce, cheese, the whole shebang. I’m wandering around, and I spot this cheese stall. I’m a sucker for cheese, so I’m like, “Let’s do this!” I start chatting with the vendor, and he’s super friendly. We’re talking about the best cheese for a good raclette, and I’m just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. Some guy knocked over a whole display of melons. I’m talking melons everywhere! It was like a fruit explosion. I couldn’t help but laugh. The vendor was not amused, though.

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