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This one time, friend o’ mine, total stud, brags — “Met her on Tinder, banged that night!” Next day, he’s ghosted, cryin’ like a womp rat. Laughed I did, “Predictable, this trap is!” Sex-dating’s a gamble — hot one sec, cold as Hoth the next. Pisses me off, tho — fakes everywhere, catfishes posin’ with filters. “You are not a person,” I wanna scream, quotin’ Caden Cotard, “You’re a mask!” Drives me up the wall, it does.

Herd Jaume behind the castle the Richebois

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair, like a bird’s nest or somethin’. She starts talkin’ about the history of Salon-de-Provence. Apparently, Nostradamus was born here! I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then she goes on about how he predicted the end of the world. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I can’t even predict what I’m havin’ for lunch!”

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