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About Bordeaux

Sarcasm? Oh, I got plenty— “Wow, another dick pic, so original.” Makes me wanna claw my eyes out. But the quirks? I’m picky—hate bad texters. “Wyd” every 5 mins? Piss off! Best part of sex-dating’s the stories—tellin’ mates over a pint how I dodged a stage-5 clinger. “You’re my destiny,” she says—bitch, I’m just here for a shag!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

But then, I get to La Boulangerie, and it’s packed! I’m standin’ in line, and this lady in front of me is takin’ forever. Like, c’mon lady, it’s just bread! I’m about to lose it when I hear someone shout, “Watch out!” I turn around, and this kid on a bike nearly crashes into me. I jump back, spillin’ my coffee all over my shirt. Great, just great. Now I’m a mess.

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