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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just kneadin’ yer back, nah. It’s proper sensual, like some secret level in a game nobody talks about. I heard, right, back in the ‘70s, these underground parlors in London—blokes’d pay a fortune for a “happy endin’,” yeah? Little known fact—coppers raided one, found a vicar gettin’ his rocks off! Hilarious, mate, fuckin’ wild! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on me tea.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peekin’ through my window on Rue de la République. I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” Grabbed my gear, headed out. First stop? The market on Place de la République. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff. I’m tryin’ to grab some apples, but this lady cuts in front of me. Like, seriously? Rude much? I’m like, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I was here first!” She just glares at me. Ugh, people!

Police release new image of the 'Putney Pusher'