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About Montpellier

So, sexual-massage, right, it’s all about the vibes, the touchy-feely bit – not dodgy, mind! I’m talkin’ legit, ancient stuff, like them Romans with their oily spas, fact that! Little known tidbit – did ya know in Japan they’ve got these secret “anma” massage joints, been around forever, and it’s all hush-hush, sensual-like? Mad, innit! Imagine pitchin’ that to the team – “Lads, we’re puttin’ secret sexy rubs in the game, synergize that!” They’d look at me like I’ve lost the plot, but I’d be chuffed, proper innovator me.

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Finally, I grab my gear and start walking. I pass by the Parc de la Mairie, and it’s all peaceful and stuff. Birds chirping, people jogging. I’m like, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me, all hyper. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a dog magnet.” It jumps on me, mud everywhere! I’m covered in dog goo, and I’m late. Just my luck, right?

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